Through the Looking Glass

"All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better."                    - Ralph Waldo Emerson

With every new day comes a whole new pile of unknowns and possible obstacles. If life didn't have the unanticipated moment of panic it would be both mundane and stagnant. Our society thinks, and acts progressively because of our innate response to obstacles set in our path, using them to learn from and adapt, rather than remain sitting ducks.

However, while our intentions might always be to take the positives out of obstacles, sometimes our emotions get the better of us before we have time to react. Before you know it our minds our spinning out of control. When this happens, one of two things can be done:

a) we can submit to the panic and run around like chickens with our heads chopped off.

or

b)  we can hit the reset button.

 In my experience, the best way to handle these situations is always b) but how do we reset when our minds have gone so out of control? Something that I started doing a long time ago, at first I think it was subconsciously and then became habit, was to go to a place where I felt like the world would just stop for a minute and I could think. When I was younger, this place was the rope swing in my front yard. Now, obviously the stresses of a preteen/early teenage girl are very pressing, but none the less spending 10 minutes outside on the swing by myself allowed me to reset, to gather control of my thoughts and think clearly.

As I got older, and eventually had my license-this place became my car. Something about driving, mindlessly listening to music and staring at the open road with no real destination or reason for the trip in the car, other than to clear my head. Sometimes I think the best way to get back on track, is to step outside of your world for a minute. Try and look at whats bothering you, without all of the outside influences, without the suggestions or interpretations and just find out for yourself what is important and how you want to handle it.

Whether your aware of it or not, I bet almost everyone inadvertently has their own place to go when  stressed or something has their mind spinning in circles. Once you find out what that place is, it becomes a lot easier to confront your problems head on, and you'll look for the time when you can escape to that special place and seek out your own clarity.

Just Like Grapes

"When grapes are growing wine makers purposely stress them out by depriving them of water and giving them an over abundance of sunshine, and this weeds out the weak ones and only the strongest and the best survive. Those are the grapes that makes the finest wine. The greatest love survives the harshest of conditions, surviving that turmoil is what makes a relationship strong." -Love Wedding Marriage 

This past Sunday I spent part of my morning browsing through Netflix. As most of you Netflix subscribers probably already know, the "Watch Now" section offers somewhat obscure titles, and for the most part, movies that never hit it big in theaters. I stumbled upon the movie, "Love Wedding Marriage" directed by Dermot Mulroney and starring Mandy Moore and Kellan Lutz. Netflix categorized this pick under the romantic comedy genre, I assumed following suit that it would be your typical chick flick, and being the hopeless romantic that I am- I decided to give it a shot.

 In brief- the film depicts Mandy Moore's character, a marriage counselor whose life as a newly wed to Kellan Lutz takes an unexpected detour when she realizes that her parents' marriage is headed downhill, and fast. In efforts to reconcile her parents before their upcoming 30th anniversary surprise party, Moore stops at nothing in attempts to bring her parents back together- risking her own marriage and professional life in the process. Enough about summaries though, what I was most drawn to in this movie was a single line revealed towards the end which is quoted above.

After sorting out his differences with his wife, Moore's father in the film shares with her this bit of wisdom as she finds her new marriage to be in a rough spot ever since her attention was so drastically directed towards her efforts in reconciling her parents.

I thought this unorthodox analogy was very profound, and it struck a chord with me. Often times I think we become so consumed with over analyzing we forget about the simple things. When we spend more time thinking about the state of our relationships or trying to figure out what is going on- we lose sight in the fact that they can't possibly always be perfect. Sometimes we get stressed out, sometimes one person will have more on their plate than the other- but that doesn't mean that the balance beam won't sway the other way on occasion, or that the balance is lost forever, it just means that for the moment things are a little askew. The true testament to any relationship; be it romantic or friendship, familial or professional, is how well you communicate through obstacles- and in most cases when you finally find yourselves heads above water- your relationship will have evolved into a much much closer connection.

Really it's quite simple, just like grapes, any two people in a relationship who manage to endure the more difficult times with love, even through tension and turmoil...those who come out on top and are closer than ever- are the most incredible of relationships.

Those are the lasting relationships that make for the best lifetime shared with someone.